My birthday is fast approaching, and as it gets closer my thoughts focus increaasingly on some of the big questions: what have I done with my life in the past year, what does the year ahead hold, and finally, how old will I be anyway? The first question is easily answered by looking at last year’s diary; sadly the second is probably answered by looking at a 2013 diary that I have, as yet, no need for.
Like most people I do not particularly relish growing old; those lapses of memory, increased visits to the doctors, changes of shape etc. are not something that I look forward too. However the alternative to aging is even less attractive, and let’s not forget there are benefits to growing old too. Accepting yourself for who you are and a sense of identity both seem to increase with age, as does your ability to push to the front of a queue and then pretend that you can’t hear the protests from behind. Also let’s not forget the advantage of no longer feeling embarrassed about a little bit of flatulence in public.
Lately I seem to have come across a lot of magazine articles about how to live longer. Perhaps I’ve been spending too much time in doctor’s waiting rooms. The advice is varied; oh there is the usual drink less, stop smoking, eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, and lose weight. All very sage I’m sure, but not particularly inspiring. However there were some notable longevity pointers that were new to me. They included that I should be more optimistic, relaxed, wealthy, marry happily, and have more sex – I’m done for! Unless I meet a slightly younger, athletic, “relationship ready” and well off man. However it is hard to be optimistic as this has not happened in the however many years it is that I’ve been searching! I’ve long since abandoned ‘The Rules’ approach to trapping a man – they proved far more canny and elusive than that method suggested. I guess that I’ll just have to get myself in shape and keep getting out there. So in the next 12 months I’m going to eat well, drink less and exercise more. Maybe then I’ll meet my soul mate, or failing that, at least have some good sex. If neither of these happens you had better not get in front of me in the supermarket, or stand immediately behind me for that matter either.