How to Find a Mate

Lately I’ve been dwelling on the age old question asked by all single women of a certain age – “Where did I put my glasses”? Closely followed by, “How come a fantastic chick like me is still single”? After much consideration I’ve narrowed the answer down to several thousand, but my favourite is, “I never found anyone good enough”. Consequently I’ve been contemplating how to go about finding a mate. Here are the deliberations of an enthusiastic but unsuccessful mate-finder.

Firstly, you have to get out there; but where exactly? It is important to attend events that attract the type of person you are interested in. If you are attracted to handy men then I suggest DIY night classes; alternatively you could wait for them at any ‘Accident and Emergency’.

Secondly, what attributes should you seek in a possible mate? I think a pulse is always nice, although if you are marrying for money the weaker the better. Having established your prospective soul mate is alive I then look for commonality; the more you have in common the greater the chance of the relationship enduring. A young athletic toy boy might sound fun, but soon his demands will tire you out and interfere with your viewing of Downton Abbey. For some, career compatibility is of the utmost importance in a relationship. An animal rights activist might struggle with a butcher or a taxidermist for example.

Thirdly, be active in your search for a mate. A shrinking violet soon becomes a wall flower. Instead, if you’ll permit me to grow the botanic idioms, gild the lily and grasp the nettle! It may be a jungle out there, but don’t let the grass grow under your feet, you may be a late bloomer but by beating around the bush you’ll wither on the vine and be pushing up daisies in a single plot.

Some people compare finding a mate to shopping. I personally liken it to buying a car. I know nothing about the internal functioning of either, but then I don’t need to understand the internal combustion engine to have a pleasurable ride. Before you go down this road be clear about what you want; something sporty to get you there quickly or something more family orientated? Once you know what you are looking for take a few for a test drive, but not so many that you exhaust the lot. If you do take the car buying analogy to heart be sure to keep any country of origin or colour prejudices to yourself.

Finally how do you know when you’ve arrived at your destination and found your soul mate? I’d always thought it would be when both my mate and I were singing each other’s praises from the roof tops. Consequently this week I’m joining an a Capella singing group and getting roofing quotes. If that doesn’t work then it’s back to the car yard to see if I can’t pick up something sporty with no room for baggage.

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