A friend is someone who will stick with you through thick and thin. Although shouldn’t that be thin and thick? As thin was first (and long ago) while the thick is seemingly here to stay. Our good friends are vitally important to us, and we hope that we are a good friend in return. But are we?
If a good friend has ever failed to tell you about a relationship break up, difficulty at work or that she’d vomited in a public rubbish bin after Friday drinks it may be that you’re not at the top of your friendship game. I’ve devised a short quiz to answer the question, ‘How good a friend am I?’ Not only will it give you a rating to impress what friends you do have left and help flesh out a deficient CV, but it will also point out any areas that you should focus on to improve your friendship skills. If you’ve already reached uber-friend status then you can jump straight to question 6.
Take the quiz. Score it yourself, or better still get that good friend who you haven’t seen since the 2005 Christmas party incident to score it for you.
- How do you react when you see a friend having a romantic dinner with your ex in a restaurant?
- Give them some time to register your presence prior to going over, saying hello cordially then withdrawing to another restaurant = 2 points
- Ignore them the entire time while talking loudly about how good your life is and laughing uproariously at your table = 1 point
- Spend the evening alternatively staring intimidatingly at them and trolling their social media pages = 0 points
- What do you do when a friend asks for the recipe after your dinner party?
- You are thrilled at the compliment and send a detailed recipe annotated with hints on how to complete each step. At their next birthday you give them a copy of the recipe book with a personalised note to your friend from the author = 2 points
- Act thrilled at the compliment and promise to send the recipe. Which you dutifully do, after being reminded five times = 1 point
- As for b, but you miss out two key ingredients and double the cooking time = 0 points
- What do you do when a friend buys the same dress as you to wear to a function that you are both due to attend?
- Purchase a different dress and say nothing to your friend other than complimenting her at the function on how lovely she looks = 2 points
- Say nothing to your friend but immediately go on a crash keto diet to lose a couple of kilos so that you look better in it than she does = 1 point
- Buy another dress to wear to the event, and post images on social media of you wearing the doppelganger dress doing household chores (what, this old thing?) = 0 points
- What do you say when a friend has suddenly gained some weight?
- Say nothing but invite her on gentle activities so that she can get exercising again and/or talk about any issues = 2 points
- Say nothing but invite her on strenuous activities that she will struggle to complete = 1 point
- Tell her that a few extra kilos wouldn’t look better on anyone else but her, then offer to take her shopping for kaftans = 0 points
- A friend and you have been struggling to lose a few kilos that seem to have taken up residence around your middles. Then you bump into her and discover she has suddenly lost a lot of weight, what is your reaction?
- Say nothing but invite her out to see if everything is well with her = 2 points
- Avoid situations where you could be photographed beside her = 1 point
- Hope that her illness is serious = 0 point
- You are confident that you have good friends, and in turn are a good friend; you see a quiz in a trashy publication purporting to assess how good a friend you are. What is your reaction?
- Not take it seriously but read it for amusement with a healthy scepticism = 100 points
- Take the quiz after glancing at the scoring guide to see how you should answer the questions to achieve a high score = 1 point
- b. above plus you tell everyone you know your own inflated score and advise them they are lucky to know you = 0 points
0 Friends are those people you see others wanting to be with. Weird eh?
1 – 6 Welcome to the human race.
100 Well done! This score reveals nothing about your rating as a friend but does speak well of your common sense.
110 Congratulations! You are either an uber-friend or a cheat. Consequently people either love you or hate you.